you dont get B without doing A

Being a new mom of 4 kids, has had its trying moments. I have tried many types of disciplines and routines for the kids to make a stable home. And while some things I try don't work, some actually do. For instance time outs don't really work here. It seems to create more fuss and stress in the house then need be.
My friend recently told me about a new  way to get the kids to do what I want with less stress. She read the book "Have A New Kid By Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman and she suggested it to me. I borrowed her copy and read it within a day. I have wrote it down in steps to explain it easier.
1. tell the child what you want them to do (ex. pick up their room)
2. walk away from the child and do something else
3. if the child doesn't do it, that is OK, commit it to memory (with four kids I had a running list of things I asked that they didn't do right away or just didn't do at all)
4. the child will ask you something they want (ex. mommy can I have a snack)
5. say "no" and walk away
6. the child will chase you around the house wanting to know why (I never heard so many "why mama's" in the last 8 months I had the kids)
7. this is the time you can explain to them what they did wrong earlier and they will think about it and it really does start changing their behavior.

The trick is remembering who is in trouble and for what and following through with the punishment. If they ask to watch TV and you have to say "no" they cant watch it for the rest of the day.

My kids now have realized that I keep a list, it didn't take long for them to catch on. Sometimes especially with the younger kids I just have to say do you want to be put on the list and they run and do what I say. They do not want to be on the list because they have realized that they will be punished later by not getting something they want. It has worked much better then timeouts, sending them to their room and other methods.

I highly recommend this book "Have a New Kid by Friday" it has lessened my stress in my home, I am no longer arguing with my pre-teen and my younger kids are saying "yes mam" and doing what there told.

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